And as Tony, John, Dave, Tom and Tom, Jane, Maddie, Chris, and Joe lay down their heads on Christmas eve and dream of tax increases, wasteful spending, and whatever else makes their little hearts glow, why don't the rest of us take a sneak peak into Santa's sack at the gifts he's got in store for them?
Here's a box with a red ribbon marked "Tony". Inside this package there are two items; a plush warm security blankie monogrammed TVB, and an adult-sized pacifier. Apparently Santa has noticed how cranky the mayor has become lately and this practical gift hints that maybe Tony needs to take a regular nap time.
What's this? Is this a present for John? Its a history book on Tammany Hall. Santa wants to remind John that the Tammany Hall era in New York in the late 19th century isn't a blue print for Newmarket in 2014. Next year's election promises to be an epic battle for the soul of Newmarket and finally the grip that team "Double Standard" has on our local government that is choking our community will be released.
Here is something fun for Tom H. Its a soccer ball. Isn't Santa clever? He wants to give Tom a reminder of one of Council's dumbest decisions ever with the $2.8 million bailout of the NSC. Tom can boot the ball around too after the inevitable booting from office he'll receive as the result of him voting in favour of this bail out.
And for Chris? Its a book about trees. Santa remembers how Chris wanted to have town employees visit each homeowner to make a list of every tree in town. With the new book that Santa is giving him, Chris doesn't need to waste tax dollars on such an inane project. He can do it himself with all the free time he has? Free time, you ask? Yes, because Santa knows that Chris never returns the phone calls or e-mails that he receives from his constituents so he has more free time than any other member of Council.
Vroom vroom. Santa has a garbage truck for Jane. Ward 3 residents are always complaining that their garbage isn't being picked up on time and Jane can't seem to do anything about it. With her shiny new garbage truck, Jane can go and pick up the trash herself. What fun!
Santa feels badly for Dave. With Internet voting being inexplicably rushed through council in time for October's election and having 5 nursing home situated in his ward, Dave must know that certain factions are plotting to unceremoniously dump him after decades of being a loyal friend and ally. So Santa is bringing Dave a cord of firewood to burn as he campaigns his traditional "fireside chat" style. He is going to lose but at least he will do it his way.
Santa has something in store for Maddie too. If it wasn't for Maddie, people would not know about the soccer loan, the mayor's outrageous spin on taxes, and many other issues. In spite of all of Maddie's hard work, Santa was sad to see that her colleagues have punished her instead of congratulate her. Yet even though the Town of Newmarket has decided not to pay her, Santa knows that she will continue to work hard to for open government. So Santa is bringing Maddie a lucky horse shoe and a four leaf clover as symbols of luck for her 2014 campaign.
In the first 18 months of this term, Santa was fooled into thinking that Joe was spineless because he rarely spoke. But in the next 18 months, Joe spoke plenty and removed any doubt. Being spineless on its own is tough but couple that affliction with being stupid and you have Joe's character wrapped up. Santa is bringing Joe a wrapped but empty box as a metaphor of Joe's time in office.
But the biggest parcel in Santa's sack is reserved for Tom V. Everyone is gathered around to see what it is. But before we get a chance to have a peak, Santa has come by and tied up his sack. We'll just have to wait and see what Santa will bring him. Everyone loves a mystery. Stay tuned.
Good read and a very Merry Christmas to you too!
ReplyDeleteWow, so you censor the comments here?
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